30 January 2008

15 pesos of fun.

It’s a light jacket weather, 7th of July, Saturday afternoon, just right after our Urban Plan Implementation class [around 4pm??]. He and I rode the jeepney despite the internet station being 0.75 kilometers away only because it rained so hard few hours earlier and as expected the streets are in a terrible mess.

While waiting for the ride I took a picture of a wide rectangular hole in the center of General Luna street, right across the UPV-Iloilo City campus because this would be the last time I’d see General Luna in its days of glory; it’s fading beauty. When the flyover is done, General Luna is also definitely done.
[
the pictures were terrible.]
[literally.]


So we took a jeepney.


The internet stations in the shop are located at the 2nd floor. The first floor is reserved for gamers. We call it the stock exchange area because the atmosphere resembles that of the stock exchange. allow me to expound. The kids -- all of the kids scream in either frustration or glee every time heaven or hell comes in their gaming world. There are kids standing or hovering over a favorite gamer, a pawn, maybe. There are bettings, lunching on sandwich while standing up, spending almost the whole of daylight hours inside the darkened gaming shop, and once again, to reiterate, screams of frustration or glee resembling that of a stock exchange.
Half hour into our surfing a chorus of excited/victorious screams were heard form the downstairs.
Somebody has finally sold a stock.
[
more screams followed.]
[somebody have won.]


35 minutes into our surfing and we’re done but there’s still 25 minutes left so we decided to download MP3s and we’re lucky – the station has earphones. I’ve been wanting to have an MP3 of elliot smith’s song from the royal tenenbaums and another song, waltz #2.
[needle in the hay played when richie tenenbaum told himself on the mirror, “I’m going to kill myself tomorrow”].
My ultimate download was waltz #2. like a 5 year-old being handed down with the most delicious cotton candy she was aching for.
For almost 9 (nine) years now I only listened t a bootleg of it with first few notes missing because it tool me about 5 seconds to jump from our pink dining table to the bedside table where the beat sony cassette recorder was and push that record button on.
I carefully placed the earphones to my ear so as not to miss a single beat. A single note.
[waltz #2….

……how gloomy and depressing that day was when they played it on the radio…]
……elliot died. October 23. he stabbed himself almost 4 (four) years ago…]
……they said my mother called. I was still sweaty from the walk from school. My head is still groggy from the formalin in the dissection class…EMERGENCY…she will call again tonight…]
……I have to go home…tomorrow…lola died. Cardiac arrest.]
Series of calls were made to the airline companies…I have to go home. Tomorrow.]
……she took a full bath and ate full lunch. At 3:00 pm, she died.]
[summer of 1998.]
[manila is sooo hot. Sad and happy. Manic depressive.]
[I am happy to be leaving such a miserable place. I am sad to be going home to such miserable event.]


I told him he should listen to waltz #2.
[his grandma also died just a few years ago.]
He said our house is more appropriate for the just-rained-down weather. Waltz #2 can wait.
……on somebody’s death, perhaps.]


An hour into our surfing and we’re done. We were again met by seemingly thousands of screams coming from only 10 gaming kids as we made our way down to the counter.


It was the best 15-peso treat ever.


Outside, I took pictures of the NU 107 signage. They signed off the air 8 years ago.

It's Not

by Aimee Mann

I keep going round and round on the same old circuit.
A wire travels underground to a vacant lot.
Where something I can't see interrupts the current.
And shrinks the picture down to a tiny dot.
And from behind the screen, it can look so perfect.

But it's not.

So here im sittin in my car at the same old stop light.
I keep waiting for a change, but I don't know what.
So red turns into green, turning into yellow.
But I'm just frozen here on the same old spot.
And all I have to do is press the pedal.

But I'm not.
No I'm not.

Well people are tricky, You can't afford to show,anything risky, anything they don't know.
The moment you try, well kiss it goodbye.

So baby kiss me like a drug, like a respirator.
And let me fall into the dream of the astrounaut.
Where I get lost in space that goes on forever.
And you make all the rest just an after thought.
And I believe it's you who could make it better.

But it's not.
No it's not

24 January 2008

good morning!

A prayer to start my day.

Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN.

23 January 2008

exits.


I wrote this on January 8, 2008.

yesterday 5 people opened my office's door hoping it is the way out only to see another office and not lobby leading to a heavenly exit from the dusty and overused Elizalde Building. the same thing also happened for almost every day of the previous weeks, only differing in numbers and in types of people. so early today i did an experiment. before i could start working on my to do list i made a NO EXIT sign to post on my office's door. the "no" being in gray and the "exit" in black, thinking that it would make difference, if at all.
then the clock starts ticking.
surprisingly, the first people that got into my bait were, the stuart (??) couple. foreign videographers who go around Panay to film tourist spots, scenic places and Visayan cultural activities. the husband exclaimed: WHAT? no exit here?? he turned to the door and said, "But it says EXIT--"
"No exit," i said.
the lady, the wife, then said..."Oh, so sorry. it says no exit. sorry we couldn't read the gray ones," she said pointing to my sign.
then off they go.
experiment. experiment.
i need two more of the similar incident in order to change the gray "NO" into the purest, darkest black.


---------------------

after a week, a handful of people still opened my door thinking its the way to heaven (because the old building do looks like hell).
it got me into thinking that they perhaps could not really see the "NO" that precedes the "EXIT".
so i took the A4 sign and traced the "NO" with the red permanent marker and post it on the door again this time with...say, conviction that my sign would work.

PERO WALA MAN GIHAPON!!!!
LINTE!!
WALA GID MAN GABASA ANG MGA TAGA ILOILO HAW?

so i took out the signs again and rearranged them. made sure they are at the eye level.

it's been a week after that reaaranging.

and here is the statistics:

1 woman asked if my office is this certain office. (WRONG!)
1 woman opened the door and quickly closed it back when she saw me. (first time kakita tawo?)
1 old woman opened the door, closed it halfway and opened it again to ask me if this my office is not the way out. (lapit nalang gid. lord help me!!!!)
and notably they are all women. Noted down.

hmm... would a a life size sign of my agency's name across my office's glass windows make a difference?

thinking...thinking...thinking....

and just before i clicked the post button a woman in her ealy 30s (baw malagas gid!!!!) suddenly opened the door, took 3 steps and exclaimed surprise when she saw me. she asked for the exit.

tsk tsk

in the news today:

heath ledger was found dead at his manhattan apartment.

the same day i was finally able to post that post (see below).

so much talk of death today.