Somebody is Waiting for ME.

Juliana Hatfield.

You never needed them
You never needed anyone
The life of the party must decline
Your invitation to dine
And I'm sorry that I must go so soon
Please forgive me for finding something real
And pure and true
Somebody is waiting for me
Somebody is waiting for me
Somebody is waiting for me
Somebody is waiting for me
I never needed this
I never needed anyone
I meant every word that I said
It's true
I wasn't talking to you
And I'm sorry that I must go so soon
Please forgive me for finding something real and pure and true
Somebody is waiting for me
Somebody is waiting for me
Somebody is waiting for me
Somebody is waiting for me
And I'm sorry that I must go so soon
Please forgive me for finding something real and true
Somebody is waiting for me
Somebody is waiting for me
Somebody is waiting for me
Somebody is waiting for me
For me, for me, for me, for me, for me
For me for me for me for me for me for me for me.



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Now playing: Juliana Hatfield - Somebody Is Waiting For Me
via FoxyTunes

anniversary.

i learned about it over dinner, on April 14, 2007. I was waiting for my 3-month old baby to finish breastfeeding so i could also eat. My mother asked me if i remember "Tita Luing". She didn't look happy.

i remember asking if something was wrong because my mother is generally a happy person and seldom flashes sad faces.
I was told they have disappeared, actually abducted a couple of days before. Tito Leeboy was shot and was being treated in the hospital. I sent a message to Blesela inquiring about the details. She said the doctors would allow the slug to remain inside Tito Leeboy's body because it is more risky to take it out.

I do not personally know "Tita Luing" but my father talked about her and her colleagues many times. based on how my father tells his stories, she was a person fit to be put in a pedestal. I also see her around from time to time -- in fiestas and whenever my parents dine out with her. She has also dropped by our house several times during the election campaign period, giving out campaign materials for the Bayan Partylist.


My mother said the last she saw her was in January. She asked me if i ever wondered why it took them (my mother and my sister) to return from their shopping trip while i was in the hospital for Gogol's delivery. They left to buy groceries around 430 pm (or so) -- i was only 4-5 cm then and returned 3 hours later, at 730 pm when i was approaching 7-8 cm and was about to be brought to the delivery room. she said she met with Tital Luing. She asked for some counseling over her marital problems. My mother didn't know it would be their last meeting before their abduction on April 12. She said she wished she had met her again because she was planning to give her one of her overnight bags because she said she liked it. she said maybe things would have been different.


or would it be?


you could never really be sure with the kind of government we now have.

yeah. yeah. haey.

for you to notice.
dashboard confessional

I'm starting to fashion an idea in my head
where I would impress you
with every single word I said.
Would come out insightful, or brave, or smooth, or charming
and you'd want to call me..
And I would be there every time
you'd need me
I'd be there every time...

But for now I'll look so longingly
waiting...
For you to want me, for you TO need me, for you to notice me

I'm starting to fashion an idea in my head
where I would impress you
with every single word I said.
Would come out insightful, or brave, or smooth, or charming
and you'd want to call me..
And I would be there every time
you'd need me
I'd be there every time...



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Now playing: dashboard confessional - for you to notice
via FoxyTunes

missing packing.

my camping bag will again go on a trip after its 3-year hiatus.

my sister borrowed it for a 3 day post-graduation camping in Guimaras.

i just recently brought it home, after having been in storage in my friend's for close to 2 years, and dumped it in the corner with fingers crossed that i would one day find time to clean it and take it on tour again or keep it for good for my son to use later when he is old enough for camping.

i took pictures of my sister packing, missing it. i've done it for almost half my life. it was only then that i settled down and religiously went home/slept in the same place because somebody already needs me home.

at 13 i was sent away to study and lived in a boarding house with strangers form all across the island of Panay. from time to time we would have boarders from other islands in visayas but they didn't last because of the stringent house rules. the curfew is after all, 8:00 pm. but that was 15 years ago when at 7:00 pm, Iloilo City already gets ready to sleep and did not have a night life. i suppose they moved the curfew to 12 midnight now?

in my first year, i went home every week, usually on friday afternoon and go back on sunday afternoon. Every thursday night i would pack my laundry and other stuffs so i could head to the bus terminal right after class on friday. i used the tote bags my mother gave me in lieu of traveling bags. it was tacky and i envied college kids with nice traveling bags, where all their stuffs are kept safe inside with nice zippers and velcro. it would be several more years before i learned to pack light and used better bags. packing light wasn't the end to may packing adventure. i learned to pack better. i learned the miracle of zip locks and little containers. it was then i began majoring in packing. it was time to upgrade.

i saved a lot for that camping bag. i acquired it about 8 years ago after i moved back to iloilo from a short stay in Manila. UP Visayas-Miagao is closed to Mt. Napulak. It's our campus' backdrop. and it was beautiful to my "city-saturated" eyes.

in march of 2005 we climbed mt. napulak again to culminate a friendship that bloomed in beers and sotanghon guisado in Treehouse. LC was also leaving for India. we got home from the climbed tired, sleepy and full from beer and oysters. it was 8pm. not long after it was also time for me to move to another boarding house. have to leave it to my friend. stuff couldn't fit in my room...tired of packing...and unpacking...i want to move...away...i want to be...in some other place...not here...i want to stop moving...and

...and

...and

...end.

high. low.

if i could talk i'd tell you
the lemonheads


Half past 9, quarter to ten
10:15, and we're coming around again
hold off, are we going soft?
Flushed my Zoloft, and we're comin' around again
Found out, and i almost drowned
Walked back down, and we're coming around again


If I could talk I'd tell you
If I could smile I'd let you know
You are far and away
My most imaginary friend


Khmer Rhouge, and genocide qua
Your place or mein kempf, now i'm givin' the dog a bone
slight hunch, without the vaguest clue
to keep the blood balanced, now we're coming around again
half past 9, quarter two,
10:15, and we're comin' around again


If I could talk I'd tell you
If I could smile I'd let you know
You are far and away
My most imaginary friend


If I could talk I'd tell you
If I could smile I'd let you know
You are far and away
My most imaginary friend