04 December 2008

SHE

by aaron cometbus


SHE KISSES WITH HER MOUTH OPEN. SHE DOESN'T WEAR UNDERWEAR. ON YOUR FIRST DATE TOGETHER YOU BOTH GET SCARS. ON YOUR SECOND DATE, YOU MAKE OUT IN THE PARK. ON YOUR THIRD DATE WHEN SHE SAYS ITS NOT NORMALLY LIKE THIS, IT'S A COMPLIMENT. BUT THINGS ARE AWKWARD AFTER THAT, SO YOU GIVE HER A CHANCE TO DUMP YOU NICELY. YOU ASK IF SHE WANTS YOU TO STOP CHASING HER. TO YOUR SURPRISE, SHE SAYS NO. YOU PICK ORANGES TO GIVE HER ON THE FOURTH DATE BUT THEY TURN GREEN WAITING FOR HER TO CALL.

 

SHE IS THE BEST THING THAT' HAPPENED ALL YEAR. SHE GETS YOU DRUNK IN HER BED AND YOU ARE IN HEAVEN. WHEN YOU'VE GOT YOUR HEADS PRESSED TOGETHER, SHE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE A BLURRY ONE-EYED MONSTER LIKE EVERYONE ELSE DOES THAT CLOSE. YOU BLINK AND SHE DOESN'T SUDDENLY APPEAR TO BE YOUR TENTH GRADE ENGLISH TEACHER OR YOUR SISTER OR YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE, LIKE EVERYONE ELSE DOES. YOU BLINK AND SHE LOOKS LIOKE A MOVIE STAR.YOU BLINK AND SHE LOOKS LIKE YOUR SECRET CRUSH. YOU BLINK AND SHE LOOKS LIKE AN OLD FRIEND, THEN LIKE A RAD GIRL YOU SAW ONLY ONCE YEARS BEFORE. SHE LOOKS LIKE EVERYONE YOU'VE EVER WANTED TO BE IN BED WITH, AND ITS GETTING WEIRD, AND YOU CAN'T EXPLAIN WHY YOU KEEP BLINKING AND STARING AT HER. SHE FALLS ASLEEP BEFORE YOU, AND SHE GETS SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL SLEEPING, SHE IS RADIANT. SHE IS DIFFERENT IN THE MORNING THOUGH. SHE HAS CHANGED HER MIND AND YOU HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER PLACE TO STAY. YOU HAVE FAILED HER TEST. SHE ADDS INSULT TO INJURY BY TRYING TO SET YOU UP WITH HER FRIEND. SHE MAKES PLANS TO SEE YOU THE NIGHT BEFORE YOU LEAVE ON A LONG TRIP. SHE DOESN'T SHOW UP AND DOESN'T CALL. YOU REMEMBER WHEN SHE SAID SHE WAS FROM HELL AND WOULD RUIN YOUR LIFE, AND YOU'D THOUGHT SHE WAS JOKING.

 

SHE CAPTURES YOUR ATTENTION AND YOUR IMAGINATION AND THEN YOUR HEART. SHE TELLS YOU ABOUT LIVING IN A BUS STATION WHEN SHE WAS FOURTEEN. SHE TELLS YOU ABOUT DOING SO MANY DIFFERENT THINGS IN SO MANY DIFFERENT PLACES THAT SHE'S EITHER FOURTY YEARS OLD OR SHE'S ONE HELL OF A LIAR. SHE IS ONLY 23. SHE LIVES IN A CLOSET. DOWN ON THE WATERFRONT, SHE TEACHES YOU HOW TO USE OIL PAINTS, THE DARK COLORS FIRST. SHE DIGS THE VEGETABLES OUT OF THE DUMPSTER AND TOSSES THEM OVER THE FENCE TO YOU. SHE FINDS CLOTHES BUT THEY'RE TOO NEW AND UNCOMFORTABLE, SO YOU BOTH PUT THEM ON AND GO DRAGGING EACH OTHER AROUND TOWN, THROWING EACH OTHER IN PUDDLES, WRESTLING EACH OTHER IN THE DIRT. THEN THE CLOTHES ARE FIVE SIZES BIGGER AND WORN IN JUST RIGHT. SHE STARTS HANGING OUT WITH YOUR WORST ENEMY, BUT SAYS IT'S NOT LIKE THAT. YOU SAY IT IS OR AT LEAST IT'S GOING TO BE AND SHE COULD'VE AT LEAST GIVEN YOU A MONTH HEADSTART TO RUN LIKE HELL. SHE SAYS ITS NOT LIKE THAT. THREE DAYS LATER, IT IS LIKE THAT, AND SHE SAYS ITS YOUR FAULT. SHE LEAVES ON AN AIRPLANE WITH YOUR WORST ENEMY. IT WOULD BE NICE TO BE HOME WITH BOTH OF THEM OUT OF YOUR WAY, BUT YOU'RE ALSO LEAVING THAT DAY, FIVE HOURS LATER, ON AN AIRPLANE HEADING IN THE SAME DIRECTION. ON THE AIRPLANE RADIO, HER SONG COMES OUT.

 

SHE IS THE LAST GIRL IN THE WORLD YOU SHOULD EVER FALL INLOVE WITH, BUT IT'S TOO LATE. SHE TELLS YOU SHE LOVES YOU, THEN IN THE MORNING SAYS SHE WAS ON DRUGS AND DIDN'T MEAN IT. SHE TAKES THE PRESENTS YOU GIVE HER AND GIVES THEM TO OTHER GIRLS WHO SHE SAYS LIKE YOU MORE. SHE TAKES THE LIST OF YOUR WORST FEARS AND USES IT AS A CHECKLIST, MAKING THEM HAPPEN ONE BY ONE. YOU LOSE, AND THEN YOU LOSE HER TOO, AND LOSING HER FEELS LIKE HAVING EVERY GIRL IN THE WORLD AND THEN LOSING THEM ALL. SHE BRINGS YOU TO LIFE AND THEN BRINGS YOU TO DEATH. SHE SAYS THAT AS LONG AS YOU LOVE HER AND SHE LOVES YOU, ALL THE SHIT THAT'S HAPPENED DOESN'T REALLY MATTER. UNFORTUNATELY, IT DOES MATTER TO YOU.



and fritz robert balgos, if you get to read this, give me back by cometbus issues!!!!!!!

nickname. googling part 2.

do you know my nickname is bimbim?
(i mean the original of all the original nicknames.)

and here are the top 5 search results i get when i (ehem) google myself:

Search Results

  1. YouTube - Bimbim


    Bimbim. Hello, you either have JavaScript turned off or an ...
    4 min 6 sec - 

    Rated 5.0 out of 5.0


    www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMKncJdYga4
  2. Yahoo! 360° - Bimbim's Profile

    Bimbim is not connected to you in Yahoo! 360°. Ignore this person (What's this?) Report for abuse. Last updated Tue Mar 11, 2008 Member since December 2005 ...
    360.yahoo.com/profile-C_NPxS49c7Mv1x1sBWQlwIgw - 49k - Cached - Similar pages
  3. Riski Bimbim - Indonesia | Facebook

    Riski Bimbim (Indonesia) is on Facebook. Facebook gives people the power to share and makes the world more open and connected.
    www.facebook.com/people/Riski-Bimbim/1567629637 - 23k - Cached - Similar pages
  4. BiM-BiM’s Music Profile – Users at Last.fm

    Listen to BiM-BiM’s personal radio station (13 tracks played). BiM-BiM’s top artists: Сплин, 7раса, Ночные Снайперы. Favourite tags are rock, russian rock.
    www.last.fm/user/BiM-BiM - 122k - Cached - Similar pages


Now that bimbim is a guy.

and my real name is jerilee. now you can really find me, go after me and strangle me. i have talked so much about my identity here already. 
Now. Again. that sounds like a guy's name. because indeed it is. 
when i was younger people would tease me about jerry lee lewis. they thought i didn't know jerry lee lewis. they would say i have a guy's name. i do have a guy's name because my godmother took it from a protagonist of the pocket book she was reading, which happens to be a GUY. 

i was a tomboy in elementary. because i was a second child and the eldest was sickly so i had to be strong so i can help around the house. so i grew up tomboyish.

ANYHOW....

bimbim. i dunno why
tabby. because i was fat in early high school and slimmed down in 3rd year and got fat again early college. or maybe it was a more glamorous, feminine bimbim.
kabs. filipino characteristics of formulating nicknames from nicknames. bimbim is just too long, and tabby is long and english-y also. kabs will do.

reji. now that's more like it. 








02 December 2008

another love song for kitoy.

SHINING LIGHT.
ash.


Roman candles that burn in the night
Yeah, you are a shining light
You lit a torch in the infinite
Yeah, you are a shining light
Yeah, you light up my life

You have always been a thorn in their side
But to me you're a shining light
You arrive and the night is alive
Yeah, you are a shining light
Yeah, you light up my life

We made a connection
A full on chemical reaction
Brought by dark divine intervention
Yeah, you are a shining light
A constellation once seen
Over royal David's city
An epiphany you burn so pretty
Yeah, you are a shining light

You are a force you are a constant source
Yeah, you are a shining light
Incandescent in the darkest night
Yeah, you are a shining light
My mortal blood I would sacrifice
For you are a shining light
Sovereign bride of the infinite
Yeah, you are a shining light
Yeah, you light up my life

We made a connection
A full on chemical reaction
Brought by dark divine intervention
Yeah, you are a shining light
A constellation once seen
Over royal David's city
An epiphany you burn so pretty
Yeah, you are a shining light

These are the days you often say
There's nothing that we cannot do
Beneath a canopy of stars
I'd she'd blood for you
The north star in the firmament
You shine the most bright
I've seen you draped in a electric veil
Shrouded in celestial light

We made a connection
A full on chemical reaction
Brought by dark divine intervention
Yeah, you are a shining light
A constellation once seen
Over royal David's city
An epiphany you burn so pretty
Yeah, you are a shining light
Yeah, you light up my life
Yeah, you are a shining light
Yeah, you light up my life

gogol's notes 4


Dear Tatay,

this letter is long overdue. but i have several news.

and many stories to tell. 

nanay says i'm so hyperactive. that's why we did not have much time to write you. nanay has to bring me out all the time to get rid of my excess energy.

 or has to watch my siopao butt all the time so i won't get electrocuted or so i won't destroy our properties accidentally. Nanay said that when she sees me touching any electrical parts she won't ask me to stop; she'll just get physical. she said she'll hit my hands with a stick. 

but see my new trick tatay. i know where the buttons for changing channels are. they hid the remote from me but i am smart now. because i am a big boy. 


tell you, in antique i fell on the bed once, slipped on a wet floor maybe twice and bumped into the bamboo chairs thrice. well, one of it was kiko jetjet's fault. he forced himself to carry me but since i am a big boy already we both fell and my rosy cheeks kissed the edge of the chair painfully.

....SO by the time nanay wants to open her computer she's to tired. or she has just enough energy to sing and recite to me the spanish words before i drift off to sleep. everyone is telling nanay to teach me english but nanay said i can get english in school so she will just teach me something else. 

hey tatay, i know what OJOS is. and i now know how to say pish and cooke and cara and daahyty. i told lola one time "daaahyty" because she picked up the coins from the table. nanay tells me all the time not to pick them up because they are daaahyty.

sometimes when i saw bebes i also tell nanay. and stars. and osong paloy. osong paloy helps me go to sleep. nanay gives him/her to me and i hug osong paloy then i sleep. so when i see osong paloy i make a sign of sleeping. in my diaper there is a drawing of osong paloy.


nanay slept late last night. she had a national geographic marathon. she's into long way down now. i thought she does not like motorcycles. because they said it's very dangerous to be driving motorcycles here. but now she really likes this long way down. or maybe she's just in love with ewan mcgregor.


or maybe she's planning to go on a long long road trip?? are you two going on a long long road trip tatay? because when she was fixing our room i saw this camping bag but the shoulder pads were somewhat damaged. nanay said they were chewed off by the mighty termites. nanay hates termites. she said she'll bring it to the habagat store in the neighborhood to have it fixed. but she never got to. not yet. she's so busy with me.


nanay and i were supposed to go to CPU yesterday so i could unleash all the excess energy but i fell asleep watching jamie oliver on tv. when i woke up it was too late and i just played my energy off before having dinner.



we had chicken and buttered corn, peas and carrots and minute maid last night. i had fun playing with the peas.

2 weekends ago

 we had pancakes. nanay cooked 2 kinds: the caucasian kindand the african kind. now, that african one is on top of the caucasian. maybe it's because it's much tastier. or maybe it's because obama won. 

BUT i had more fun with the pancake syrup.






on lola mommy's birthday, nanay cooked spaghetti, pinoy style.  because her little cousins were

 coming over and they like their spaghetti sweet. 
i ate a lot of spaghetti. 

by the way, that tarragon was from kika tipol's pot. 





BUT i had more fun eating kalamansi. 
on lola mommy's birthday.



nanay said in 10 days we will see you. i'll ride the plane with lola mommy and nanay.


then you will have to kiss me at the airport. just the way they daddies do it on tv.






flying kisses,


Gogol


Peee - Esss.


Nanay took this picture the day before renz left jardeleza compound. 

Renz and his brother and his mother left the apartment for good. his yayay said they are moving to their new house in pavia. 

but i think they were just running away from the termites.





for the long lonely road ahead.


The Ride.
Joan Wasser

starting now the wait is over
as long as you jump the ride
cuz i won't highway-walk forever
as long as you jump the ride

as long as you follow me
this is what i do, like i do
i've been on the ride before
it never stops at all

it never stops at all

you'll start your engines like a virgin
as long as you jump the ride
we'll cut the whip and lose the anchor
as long as you jump the ride

as long as you follow me
this is what i do, like i do
i've been on the ride before
it never stops at all
it never stops at all

as long as you follow me
this is what i do, like i do
i've been on the ride before
it never stops at all
it never stops at all