three conversations.

(and a lot of ramblings.)



"I'm five," Marian announces. She runs to the mattress on the floor and starts jumping like she would on a trampoline. "I'm five that's why i know more!"

Marian turned 5 last September 8.

"I'm four!" Gogol, for his part of attention-grabbing antics, screams.

"You're JUST four," Marian corrects him.

Marian shares the same birthday with everyone's mother. Funny, last September 8, everyone said it was their mother's birthday. What's even funnier is, all of their mothers are named Mary. Maybe Marian is like the little girl version of Mary, that's why Marian is Marian. Maybe she'll change her name to Mary when she gets older. Like adult older. My mom's birthday is on the 30th of November. She shares her birthdate with Andres Bonifacio, MY national hero. She was almost named Andrea but her father chose to name her after the 1956 Ms. Universe Winner Armi-something. Then changed it again to her present name. The national statistics office does not have her name on their record. she technically is still Armi-girl. Cool, she's like she's almost non-existent. cool.

"It's Mary, like Jesus-Joseph-and-Mary," Keith tells me, pulling a chair to his part of the dining table. "Why do we only have decaf here--"
"You mean Mary Mary? Christmas Mary?"
"Who else would i mean by jesus mary? Didn't the people on facebook tell you that?--remind me to get a non-decaf coffee later."
"I thought hers was December 8? 'Cause December 8 is Oton fiesta and they say it's 'cause it's a Mary day or something."
"December 8 is Immaculate Concepcion day. It's not her birthday. I thought you went to a catholic grade school?"
"You mean she conceived Jesus in December 8 and he instantly became a full term baby in less than 20 days?!"
"Now that you've said it--"
"I know why."
"This decaf is terrible."

"GIVE ME BACK MY PENCIL!!!!!!!" gogol screams at marian.

"I just have this great idea. Mary has actually been pregnant for months already and she just made announcement in December, 8th, to be specific, when her belly was too big to hide. You see this in jesus movies, they wear this one-piece dress that hides all the curves and bumps and all so a growing belly is easy to hide."
"And then?--CAREFUL WITH THE PENCIL!"
"And then she gave birth the 25th of December. Maybe Joseph was really the father. I don't know."
"Or maybe it was premature."
"It can't be premature or else jesus h. christ won't live to adulthood."
"I've never really thought of that. well..."
"Well, trust me. You've never been pregnant."



---------------------



I can't exactly remember who asked what or what was asked first but it was a little past 6 in the morning and we just got back from the island watchtower to photograph a sunrise that decided not to appear today. 10 meters from where we were seated, the blue-green water glistened. the tide was at the lowest of the low. i don't think we will have good time swimming today.


island survivor 1: do you put in coffee first before hot water or is it the other way around?

island survivor 2: first choice?

me: ideally, i think, it should be coffee first then hot water.

IS1: i have clumps of coffee at the bottom of my glass.

**peers at the coffee in her glass**
**swirls coffee**

me: oh, the water wasn't hot enough. maybe you should just keep on stirring it till the granules dissolve.

IS1: i like to drink my coffee cold, actually. i mean, i prepare it hot and wait for it to get cold before i drink it. like right now, i don't really mind if it's prepared lukewarm long as there are no clumps.

Keith: i like mine really hot. like boiling hot. then i take rapid sips.

IS2: i like mine prepared with really hot boiling water. they taste better, even when i take them cold. but they have to be prepared with fresh boiling water. that way they taste better.

IS1: i heard people say that. but is there really a difference?

IS2: yeah. yeah, i think so.

me: i can't tell. well, i always want mine prepared with freshly boiled water. if i see clumps i don't drink it.

Keith: i think the hot water somehow "cooks" the coffee.

IS1: good point. maybe that's what makes the difference--the coffee getting "cooked."

IS2: or maybe it's all in my mind.

me: maybe it's just in your mind.

IS2: you think so.

me: well, we can always assume that. i mean, how do you really know, right? you wouldn't. and because i can't really taste the difference. well, the clumps make the difference but i don't think that is taste-related.

IS2: yeah.

*****silence****

***somebody sips cold coffee****

me: let's go swimming.

IS2: great idea.



---------------


Me to Keith: "I'm going to cancel my meeting today."

then i go to the toilet.

Gogol, screaming: "YOU CAN'T HAVE CANCER! NANAY, WHY DO YOU HAVE CANCER?!"

next scene:

***speechless parents***

then.

keith: "it's CANCEL. 'EL' not 'ARR'.

Gogol: "but she went to the toilet!"

the explanation is, last night we watched an Innaritu film, BIUTIFUL. right when Javier Bardem's character was taking a piss (scene: bardem's back was at the camera but it was obvious that he was inside the toilet and that he was urinating), i muttered:

me: "he has cancer?"
keith: "oh shit."

next shot was of the toilet bowl, all red. bloody red. bardem's character was pissing blood.

me: "he really has cancer."

bardem's character groans. flushes the red piss (gurgling sound of flushing plays as he opens the door).

keith: "kidney?"
me: "maybe prostate or something. oh god. this is just sad. he's gonna die."

gogol, half awake: "who has cancer?"

keith: "go back to sleep."



-------------







postscript.


and empty conversations we need sometimes. and sometimes we also need to stop talking about ourselves. like in taking pictures, there really isn't a need to explain what we took. there really isn't a need to explain how much of a good picture-taker you are, especially if nobody asks for the explanation. i learned that silence is more powerful. alfredo always tells me: show not tell. because that way, you respect your audience's intellect. i am also still learning how to do it. show not tell.

sigwa the movie is terrible. show not tell. i know what happened. i read it in papers. my father also tells me the reality behind the real real of that decade. of that year. show not tell.




--------------

photo credits: Miriam Yu and Jomarie Macairan.