history of some sort.

I’ve mostly found my friends through music.

I’d like to think I met Blesela during a Sigabong (clash number I dunno but I first watched it in 1994) in UP Visayas. I’d like to think that my memory serves me right; I seem to recall a scrawny girl in tie-dyed shirt with a backpack slung over her shoulders. if my memory serves me right I may be in my 2^ndyear then because it couldn’t be third year since Sigabong in my 3^rd year. Neither could it be on my senior year because Noreen, the one who introduced me to Bles would have gone to Diliman by then.

Noreen was my petite roommate, a math wizard. Her room was across mine and spent her time reading and listening to metal. Noreen influenced me a lot musically, although I sort of went the other branch of the music tree, eventually. I tried listening to Morbid Angel and Sepultura and Napalm Death and the likes but they didn’t stick, really and I had to give up. But I think it’s what you get for being a well-read rock fan because despite being a metal maniac you remain open to other sub-genres of rock. Noreen also listens to sonic youth and nine inch nails and some really popular bands like nirvana and pearl jam so that spells so much commonality between us. We also both tried so hard to learn guitar but being tone deaf really is an obstacle you need to overcome. I don't think she ever really did master guitar playing and neither did I.

Noreen left for college on my 3^rd year to high school so I was left alone to discover what kind of music really suited my ears. If we stayed together longer I may have developed liking for death metal also. With her gone, I started hanging out with Bles, who introduced me to Joy and Aiza and some other more…there was Jenny and Vanessa and this girl from assumption who’s kind ofstand-offish but in fact is a nice girl when you get to know her, fond of wearing weird earrings. There was no way to spend the day not talking about the bands and the music. We can’t play instruments so we turned to where we’re best at: writing and talking. And there was Blesela’s father who, I learned knew my father, and who also lent me1984when I came to visit Blesela one time. I hope I DID return it.

Rock and Rhythm wave invaded our group just before I left for college. Noreen was also the one who introduced me to the magazine back in high school; she was just 2 years ahead of me. She constantly checked Eddie-Mar newsstand in Delgado St., the one located near the Metrobank and Veterans bank. The place where you’d find people selling puppies and sometimes fishes and fruits some other odd things. Sometimes there’d be a blind man playing guitar with his chord inventions. It used to be a sunny, lively place but veterans fenced the whole area and Raul Gonzales, then a congressman, built a overhead walkway and now it’s not just the nicest place to stroll at.

Rock and rhythm was an underground magazine to us, read: early 90’s. Underground because here, in Iloilo City, it was a little hard to find and very few knew about it. Noreen was so rad she was reading it. And when I did, too, I became the rad girl also. It’s no surprise, Rn’R being an underground magazine inIloilo, because at that time Spin was almost a novelty that only rich kids can afford to buy. You can only find them, Spin, I mean, in IBAM. IBAM also sold porn magazines and rented out pocketbooks and imported magazines as well. You just have to ask the girl at the counter for the porns though, but I only knew about that much later, in my early 20’s when Keith told me. He said maybe the same trick still applies today although I think IBAM greatly suffered from the influx of malls and the National Bookstore, a store posing as a bookstore when it’s actually just a school supplies store and you’re not allowed to touch, more so scan, any fucking book on display. Early 90’s in Iloilo City was when Jollibee was the only national fastfood store andFilbar’s was the comic store, IBAMwas the magazine store, China Artswas the arts supply store, D’Topswas the bookstore and St. Vincent's was the textbook store, Sams was the shoe store, moviehouses were not inside the malls and you’d have to get home before 7pm or else you’d have to walk your way then. Alfredo Diaz was not teaching then because he begun his teaching career as journalism teacher for our elective course in 4^th year high school. in 1996. GaisanoCitywas already standing and the first mall to have a built-in movie house when Alfredo made the historical shriek to our class: “Frogs stop croaking!” . Yes, in 1996. Yes I am digressing.

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okay that ends the first part of my litany. i'll add more when i find time to wake at at 4:30 in the morning to write and finish some paperworks while listening to music and sometimes breaking my heart. but that's just really okay. hate makes us human. anger and aggression, too. also taking sides. too much sweetness and kindness and general lack of opinion for anything is just too boring; too good to be true.

ehhh...they have never had their bubbles burst yet.

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for noreen, bles, joy, vanessa, rn'r gang of idiots...the friends that i dearly miss.